Sleep - Chasing the elusive prize

If you’re a woman of a certain age like I am, chances are you have been chasing that elusive prize called sleep for a good portion of your life.

When we were children, we didn’t think we needed to sleep. We fought against naps and stretched out bedtime with a myriad of wants and needs, much to the chagrin of our exhausted parents.

As teenagers, we suddenly discovered the ability to sleep well into the day. We loved sleep, never questioning its loyalty as our steadfast life companion.

But we also did not truly appreciate being able to sleep through the night without having to get up to pee or reposition our pillow or manage our body temperature (i.e. covers pulled up to the chin, but one foot exposed). We had no idea how faithless and fickle sleep could be. Boy, were we in for a surprise.

The mothers among us were the first to learn the ugly truth. One of the ways pregnancy prepares us for the demands of parenthood is to rob us of our sleep. Physical discomfort and lots of nighttime trips to the bathroom became the status quo. And once our babies were born, well,… getting a solid eight hours was something we could only (day)dream about for months and years to come.

Then there were those few years when our children finally slept through the night/didn’t climb in bed with us anymore in the middle of the night because ______ (fill in the blank) but before they got their driver’s license (which is a separate chapter of sleeplessness), when we should have been able to sleep through the night, but at which point our body was so used to sleep deprivation that it became the default setting. We would typically remain in this default setting through the high school and college years, when a cat sneezing a block away could tear us out of a seemingly sound sleep, if we were asleep that is.

By now we had accepted that sleep would never again be what it once was, a long time ago, and  we made peace with that. But then menopause happened and all bets were off. We either laid awake for hours and hours, or woke up at 3 am unable to get back to sleep, not to mention a few other fun symptoms like hot flashes, mood swings, night sweats, etc. We dragged ourselves through the day, easily fell asleep while watching television or reading, then naively turned off the light to sink into blissful slumber. But our brain had other plans and suddenly wide awake would tell us random things like “Hey, did you know that slugs have four noses and most people can’t lick their own elbow?” We try to do yoga, meditate, cut out sugar and caffeine before bed, drink herbal tea, stay off our electronic devices, mostly to no avail.

How did we get to this point? What is the science behind it?

Insomnia can start at any time in life, and can be related to a number of factors such as health, pregnancy, medications, depression and anxiety, stress, lack of exercise, poor sleep habits, etc. Women are more likely to experience insomnia than men. Experts say this is due to unique hormonal changes as well as some health conditions that are more common in women.

The phases of the menstrual cycle are driven by shifts in hormone production, which can induce physical and emotional changes over the course of each month, Changes in hormone levels in the days leading up to each period can cause sleep disruptions and can also alter sleep stages. Women who suffer from PMS often suffer from insomnia-like symptoms. PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) is a more severe form of PMS that often involves more severe sleeping problems. 66% of women with PMDD report symptoms of insomnia before their period. 40-60% of women experience sleeping problems during  perimenopause, the stage that precedes menopause. It is a transition period that involves considerable variation in hormone production. Hormonal changes associated with aging and postmenopause may also influence sleep by altering circadian rhythms and the body’s system for regulating its temperature during a normal sleep-wake cycle. The combination of these hormonal changes and other factors, including a higher level of mood disorders and physical ailments likely contribute to sleeping problems in older women.

There are of course ways to manage or treat insomnia. For those looking for a quick fix to get some shuteye there are lots of OTC sleep aids of varying effectiveness, and of course prescription meds from your physician. However, while sleep aids can help you sleep, they are not a cure or long-term solution.

Depending on the cause of your insomnia, cognitive behavior therapy can help control or eliminate negative thoughts and actions that keep you awake at night. Positive lifestyle changes and good sleep hygiene (yep, that’s a thing, look it up!) can also help. Or you can see a sleep therapist who specializes in the treatment of sleep disorders.

And in case you’re wondering, this blog post topic came to me last night as I was lying awake wondering why crocodiles cannot stick out their tongue. On the upside, my 80-something MIL tells me that she sleeps like a rock. I guess there’s hope! Good night!

Sources: www.sleepfoundation.org, www.mayoclinic.org,

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