Aging gracefully - what does that mean?
Aging is not a popular topic. No one wants to talk about getting older, yet it is inevitable. So, how do we age gracefully?
As a baby boomer in her sixties and a fitness instructor for women in my age group, I think about this topic quite a bit.
Aging baby boomers now make up 16% of the population, and according to the US Census Bureau, by 2030, 20% of the population will be of retirement age. There is an entire branch of psychology built around the geriatric mind that deals not just with things like dementia, but also fear of -and resistance to- aging. That resistance often takes its form in all sorts of “youth-preserving” cosmetic interventions (15.5 million procedures performed in the US in 2020, and growing every year), even on young women. Not a surprising trend in a society that values youth and a youthful appearance, particularly in women.
Apparently, Americans are uniquely afraid to grow old. Sheldon Solomon, professor of psychology at Skidmore College, says one of the reasons is that America’s senior cohort comes from a uniquely privileged background, one that has left them with the feeling that the frailties that come with aging -and even death itself- are not inevitable rites of human passage, but somehow negotiable.
And we cannot talk about aging without mentioning ageism, which is prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of a person’s age. It is one of the last socially acceptable prejudices and studies have shown that women are far more likely to be victims of ageism than men.
Author Heather Havrilesky writes: “Aging gracefully entails walking a tightrope between a youth-obsessed society, which tells us that our value declines as we age, and a culture that says nothing is as uncool as desperation, the fervent desire for something we can’t have.”
As an aside, have you noticed the recent trend of young people dying their hair grey? As someone who colored her hair for many years to hide the grey, I found that intriguing. But many young women say it makes them feel empowered. How cool is that?
So, how DO you age gracefully with all that pressure society places on us to look young and negate age?
I think it begins with self-acceptance, allowing ourselves to own our true feelings about our changing looks. What if, instead of continuing to walk that tightrope we instead try to get beyond that damaging mindset to enjoy getting older? What if we were to celebrate what gets better with age, to find joy rather than try to defeat the inevitable, i.e. to age joyfully? This certainly doesn’t mean that we should ignore the very real challenges to our physical and mental health that come with aging, but to not feel shame.
Here is a list of widely accepted recommendations for aging gracefully and joyfully:
Stay physically active: find a physical activity you love and stick with it!
Eat right: drink plenty of water, reduce sugar, fat and salt, eat your fruits and veggies!
Have a purpose: find your passion, keep working, volunteer, take action!
Connect: invest in relationships, spend time with friends, take classes, join clubs!
Grow: keep learning, try new things, do brain games, read!
Be grateful: keep a gratitude journal, value the little things, do the things you love!
Give: help others, volunteer, donate, coach or mentor!
Be positive: laugh, live in the here and now, eliminate stress, accept, adapt and more forward!
In the words of Betty Friedan: “Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength!”
So, let us embrace this new stage of life with optimism and the knowledge that we are really coming into our power. Cheers!
Sources: Howtoagejoyfully.com, IDEAS.TED.com, Time.com, https://bestselfmedia.com/the-joy-of-aging/time.com